i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We were destined to go to rehab together
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
