in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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