Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
