Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
