just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
