Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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