Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
