I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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