Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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