Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
