we have pet lesbian snakes
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize