Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
