I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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