I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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