i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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