An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
