All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
