you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
