The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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