Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
