Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I could fuck to npr.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
