where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
