i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
