There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
