So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
