please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you would pick up someone in the library
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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