He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
