We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
