You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
