This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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