I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize