Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
