I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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