What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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