i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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