she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
