I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
