I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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