Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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