Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
