he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
