i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
