I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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