Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
