I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
