Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize