After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
