so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
