so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
