What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
