Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
