Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Alive.
So much puke
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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