like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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