I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
