we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
