Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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