My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
