a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
