Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
