I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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