Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
