Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize