I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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