Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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