You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
