I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
